A Personal Catch Up!

Well, it's official - I AM A BAD BLOGGER!  I just checked and I have only blogged 15 times this year!  In my defence  my personal life has taken up all my time and energy.
I have ummed and ahhed about writing this post because it is so personal, but I have always treated my blog as a place to leave an indelible stamp, a record to look back on.....
Where do I start?!  2015 has been a year of much change - an emotional roller coaster that has left me flat and detached from my business and blog.
It really began in November 2014 when I fell ill.  The following months are not months I would ever wish to relive, but they are behind me now (mostly!).  The end result of this experience is that I officially left teaching behind.  There really was no choice - the last 4ish years has seen a downturn in my health and absences from school.  To be fair to my students, parents and the school, it was time for me to go.  Guilt is an extremely powerful emotion and the stress of continually feeling guilty about letting people down was taking its toll.  I miss the children terribly, but I miss nothing else.  It was the right time to go, although the transition has been tough.  I have flashes of happy faces and hugging children and sometimes feel sad that I won't experience that again, but I am so grateful for my little business as it helps me stay in touch. I am still contributing to the world of education in my own small way and appreciate the fact that teachers around the world may benefit from my creations!  On that note, I did have some happy news this year - during the summer months, I hit my first TpT milestone - this was a happy interlude in an otherwise miserable year!
Many of you have been following the story of Jay, my 10 month old grandson.  You will remember he was admitted to hospital at 4 months old and diagnosed with a rare form of leukaemia.  I do owe you an update on this, although it is not happy news.  Jay had a number of treatments to try and bring about a remission from this nasty disease.  However, this was not to be.  Because there was no remission, he could not have a bone marrow transplant.  His final option was to travel to England for a stem cell transplant.  Although the actual transplant was successful, it did not rid him of the disease.  A few days ago, we also got the news that the disease had spread to his spinal fluids and central nervous system.  He is receiving chemotherapy directly into his spine to try and keep this under control.  At this stage, his Mum and Dad have to make a decision some time soon whether to stop any intervention and let nature take its course.  They have decided to go with doctors advice until such times they feel that it is too much for Jay.  They will then bring him home to enjoy what time they have left with him and try to make some special memories to cherish.  
Cancer continued to reap havoc this year, when I received the news that my ex-husband and dear friend of 27 years had passed away unexpectedly.  He lived in Germany and we had planned to meet up this summer - for the first time in many years.  This plan was put on hold because of Jay's situation and sadly now it is too late.  This brought back many cherished memories.  Peter was a unique man - charismatic, compassionate and inspirational - he has left a huge legacy behind and the world will be a poorer place without him.  Such a massive turn out for his funeral - he inspired loyalty in people and will be sorely missed by many, especially his dear wife and gorgeous girls.  This was a lot to process in what was already a horrible year and left a mark of sadness which will take some time to fade.
So folks - life is short - make the most of it while you can.  Tell your loved ones how much they mean to you, hug your children tight and prioritize what is important to you.
Currently, my dear husband is working away for 5 weeks and I miss him so much!  He has been my rock this year whilst I was poorly.  I can hardly believe that 11 months has gone by.  I blinked and 2015 is nearly over - I can't say I am sad about that.  Although there is so much more to come with Jay, my mindset has changed slightly and I am beginning to look forward, not dwell on what has been and the ifs and buts.  I have had some amazing support from dear dear friends who have been there every step of the way - I will never forget that!  I feel I have reached a much stronger place where I will cope much better with this emotional roller coaster that has not quite come to an end.
On a positive note, if you got this far, I will leave you with 2 words from the world of social media: Periscope and Blab - absolutely fascinating!  If you have not checked them out, I recommend that you do - it's like attending professional development every day - I am constantly amazed at the ever-changing world of education!
That's it, dear friends, I have broken the duck of blogging and I hope it won't be too long before I post again.  Thanks so much for sticking around!

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